My favourite song in the whole wide world. Stolen by Dashboard Confessional. (shared 1st place with Stairway to Heaven of course)

Went to the movies yesterday with Jocke, the cute guy from the party I meantioned earlier ;) We watched Mission Impossible 4, Ghost Protocol. It was SO COOL.

highly recommended

What better way to start a G.N.O other than with an ego pic?

Carro, Lisa, random girl

Not the best club, it was more like a bar and we wanted to dance! We danced a little, but we really longed for that real dancefloor.

I felt like it was lazyday so we took the car. Drove around for 30 minutes trying to find a parking spot (AND OUR WAY!) I HATE driving in the city! You can never turn and it's always so complicated. The city is like "Nuh-uh, ya can't drive here"

Don't you like my parking?? I think it's pretty fab.

Not that I work hard on my splits but I think it's a little better!

My goal?

Going to the gym soon, with mum! Feels gooood. Even though I run a few hours every week, I. Am. Lazy. Like, I only run because it's so easy and comfortable. "Uuuh, I need to work out. Eh WTH, I'll just go for a run and get it overwith". But your body needs more variation! So that's why mum and I started going to the gym twice/week again. I used to hate gyms, but it's quite alright! Sometimes, even pretty fun.

Found new running shoes on sale! 250 sek down från 800 sek! Quite a catch. My old ones are only 3 months old but they don't smell that nice haha. It's hard to keep your shoes clean in Sweden during a time like this. When the snow is there, fine, but when the mud comes and goes... Even if you run like a pretty lady it's impossible when the mud is there.

I walked to the kitchen - Sindi laid down on my spongebob slippers (that are adorable btw, don't we all agree?), I moved her and took a few steps, she laid down, I moved again and as soon as I stood still she was there, haha. How cute is that?

Now though... it feels tempting. Hard? Yes. Scary? So bloody scary. Could I manage that all by myself? Of course! But that's why it's so tempting. I would probably grow a lot as a person. More than as an Au pair I'd think. But it will be so much different from au pairing in the US. I probably wont build the same kind of relationships, it will be A LOT harder and it needs more courage and hard work from me, it will be more scary, I'll be moving around, never have a place to call "home". And it will be different from traveling with Elin, with her I feel like home wherever I am. It doesn't matter if it's a crappy dungeoun hostel without windows in Singapore or a luxurious hotel in Bangkok, always the same great feeling of feeling... like home you know.

And it feels like everyone's against the idea. "What if you change your mind?" "I think Au pair would be better" "You've worked so hard on going to the US" "It's two completely different things" "It's too impulsive" "It's so far away" "Going by yourself can be great, but, but, BUT...".

"Think about it a lot before you make up your mind..." THANKS DAD, not. I don't want to think about it, thinking too much about something is hardly ever a good idea. I want to be impulsive, because that's when life's the best and I'm the happiest! I know they all mean well, but sometimes I wish people would just say "That sounds like fun, what a great idea, you will have the best time, NO REGRETS!" but despite all well meaning it just gives me regrets, doubts, and it makes me more scared. I'm terrified of making the wrong choices...

(Sorry about the long entry, too many thoughts! I'll write another about pros and cons.)

I wish I wasn't so insecure about making decisions. I try to live the spirit of "make the best of it and it all works out in the end" but deep down, I worry a lot. I try not to, but I do!

Together with good people I'm a strong person but alone... I'm like a scared little puppy.

I don't know if it's because he's my dog, but in my opinion Alex is the most beautiful dog I've ever met!

Cutie!

Great weekend! Violas party was a loot of fun! But there were only very pretty, skinny girls with very short dresses haha, seriously everone was hot?? So I was like... WELL AT LEAST I'M NICE!!!

Elin getting ready

Party in the car on the way there - Actual party - Party in the car on the way home

The best way to party!

Haha Niklas!

Elin was the "party photographer" and I was her assistent holding the external flash ;)

There were no Australian surfers, sadly *disappointed*, but there was one cute swedish one!

Viola, Elin and Niklas. They all looked amazing!

Amazing!

Sindi always curles up close to my head and Alex next to me. I remember the time when I had no dogs at all, how much I longed for a furry, cuddly friend. How jealous I was of people with dogs. And now... I've got two! Am I the luckiest girl in the world, or what?

Good morning! What's happening today? I think I'll try to find a dress to wear on Violas party on saturday! Quite a challenge for me, I always feel too boyish in dresses even though I love dresses. Silly!

I'm think I'm going addicted to the TV show, Biggest loser. It's so inspiring for someone who wants to loose weight! I'm not overweight but I really want to loose some kilos, just to feel good you know! And to have something to do now that I don't work every day..